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My Frequent Mood Swings

Thursday, August 29, 2024

Ryan

Hooked on oxycodone in

middle school thanks to wisdom tooth

removal surgery. Why

can’t we just give the kids Advil?


High school, booger green bedroom

walls, Call of Duty. Drove his girl

home in his Smart car, bought pills

for too much money. She’ll be mad.


Post-graduation, broke as

Hell, Pap’s old diamond necklace looks

good enough to sell. No one

will even notice it’s gone, right?


Stabbed a guy in the rundown

bar off the highway across town

with a stolen samurai

sword from his older brother’s trunk.


Allegheny County Jail

cell, lonely gray, 2-year sentence.

His family doesn’t call,

he has heroin withdrawals.


Acorn Cakes

We’re having acorn cakes for breakfast tomorrow.


Gramma’s pancakes yield a special flour she concocts from buckets of acorns that fall from the old, fat oak tree in the front yard. Bobby and I always help her pick the acorns up off the ground, break their tiny little tops off, and wash ‘em clean in the sink the night before, so that’s exactly what we do tonight.


Everyone in the shack knows when Gramma’s making acorn cakes; The sound of the mallet crushing up the countless oak nuts ‘til they’re a fine powder never fails to wake me up early. Bobby always misses it ‘cause he’s a heavy sleeper.


The kitchen’s so foggy with white dust that smells like nut butter that I choke on it when I walk in. Gramma cackles in her flour-stained, baby pink nightgown that covers her toes, curlers still in her brittle gray hair, the one tooth left in her yappy mouth miraculously hanging on by a single root. Been like that forever.


She finishes stirring the ingredients in the bowl and offers me a taste of the batter, but I wanna save my appetite for the feast.


Scooping up a glob with the wooden spoon in hand, she winks at me before happily sticking the spoon in her mouth. But the second her mouth closes, her eyes grow large with panic. She almost yanks the spoon out faster than it went in. Now, she yells and curses in pain, and I think I see blood leaking from her lips. By the time Pop runs in to help, the blood’s trailed all the way down to her wrinkly chin.


On the spoon? Cake batter, blood, and a tiny little light brown acorn top; Its sharp, light green tip looks like that of a flower in bloom. A dark chevron pattern streaks smoothly across the outer shell, and, nestled within the top’s hollow, rigid underbelly, is Gramma’s last tooth.


Bobby still sleeps.